Underachiever

Two weeks ago I bragged to my Dr that I walk 10,000 steps a day.  I am not a person who exaggerates.  In fact, I am so literal that I will make a simple statement and then spend the next five minutes clarifying the previous statement to make sure no one misunderstands what I really meant.  I have rambled on and on clarifying statements so much at  job interviews that I didn’t get the job.

So, I’m at the Dr and he asks if I exercise.  I say ‘define exercise’.  Then proceed to tell him I walk 10,000 steps a day.  He is clearly impressed so I feel the need to let him know in detail that I don’t actually walk 10,000 steps everyday.  I only do it six days a week.  I don’t walk much on Sundays since I have declared it my unofficial day off.  And furthermore, some days I just don’t get the full 10,000.  Some days I only get 9,687 steps.  But I always try to get at least 30 active minutes.  Except on Sundays.  You know, cause it’s my day off.  See what I mean about over clarifying.

Anyway, I have been feeling a little guilty since my Dr’s appointment since I wasn’t completely honest with my him.  I don’t know if it is the time change or that I spend more time writing but,  I haven’t been walking as much lately.  In fact, in the last week, I have only walked 10,000 steps two days.  Thats right, 2!  I am such a liar.  It doesn’t matter that I walked 5,403 last wednesday, or 6,220 thursday, or even walked over 8,000 steps on friday and saturday (sunday is my day off so I only walked 3,107 but sunday doesn’t matter).  I still lied to the Dr.  I should have checked my fitbit app before proudly proclaiming I walk so much since even the week I went to see the Dr I didn’t walk 10,000 steps a day, six days a week.  I only got 10,000 or above five days.  What a disappointment.  

I think I’ll go drown my sorrows with a large sweet tea.

Holiday Hell

I suffer from a see it, buy it, regret it complex.  This condition gets worse during the holidays when stores have amazing sales.  Since I am aware of my illness, I take certain measures to ensure I am not put into situations where I am exposed to products I will see, buy, and regret purchasing later.  Or at least I think about not putting myself into these situations.  So far this holiday season I have not been successful.  

So I went out on Black Friday.  I know it wasn’t the smartest idea but I needed to get out of the house where all we do is watch TV all day.  So I decided to go to Fig Garden and take advantage of the Santa Clause there that does free photos and maybe also go on a free carriage ride.  I loaded up both my kids, myself, my diaper backpack, the double stroller, and our nice camera.  Then drove the 5 minutes to Fig Garden and spent another 5 minutes finding parking.  Then I unload one kid, the double stroller, the diaper backpack, the other kids who i have to put shoes on (he takes them off in the car), my purse, and the camera.  I roll both kids in the double stroller to the large Christmas tree only to find out Santa left at 1pm.  SOB!!  I did all of that for nothing.  Whatever, I’ll just take photos of my kids in front of the Christmas tree.  I get one kid out of the stroller and put shoes and socks on the other then pull the camera out of the case and start taking photos.  Four photos in the battery dies.  WTF!!  Are you kidding me?  How is this thing never charged?  Whatever, there should be a spare in the case.  I switch out the battery while yelling at my kids to not run around.  I take a few more photos and the spare battery dies.  Fine, whatever, I will get real photos with a real photographer and a fake Santa another day.

Let’s go to lunch.  My husband has put a ban on McDonalds because I eat it everyday.  F@#$ that.  I’m taking the kids to McDonalds where they can play in the play area and I can drink all the sweet tea I want for the next hour.  Maybe longer if they are playing well.  So I load the kids, the double stroller, the diaper backpack, the camera, and myself back into the car and drive to a McDonald's with a play place.  Unload one kid, the double stroller, the other kid (who has of course taken off his shoes again), the diaper backpack, my purse, and roll all of us into McDonald's.  $18 later I have food for both kids and myself as well as a large sweet tea.  The day just got a lot better.  The kids play more than they eat but I don’t really care.  If they are hungry when we get home I can always give them some snacks.  Today there are lots of kids there which means my kids have other kids to play with and will play longer.  That is a relief since I spent more time loading and unloading than anything else at Fig Garden.  

After an hour I roll two crying kids out of McDonalds.  I have one more stop I want to make before I head back home.  Walgreens.  I used to work there and I know they have some good Black Friday deals like 50% off toys and buy one get two free candles.  Load everything back into the car.  Drive to the closest Walgreens.  Instead of getting the double stroller out I use a shopping cart.  I let the oldest walk and once again put shoes on the youngest.  I try to put him in the cart but he throws a fit.  I haven’t have enough sweet tea for this.  Walk if you want you little brat.  We start with the toys.  I scoped the selection out a few days ago and know there are some toys I want although I can’t remember any specifics anymore.  It doesn’t matter, I know I will find something to buy.  That’s why I’m here.  While I browse what is left of the toys the kids pick out toys and throw them into the shopping cart.  I go on defense and put toys that I’m not buying back.  After talking to a few employees I find other places in the store toys can be found and fill my cart with 16 construction vehicles for my oldests kids birthday party next month.  At $3.50 pre tax I think that is a nice party favor for all the kids.  My shopping cart is so full I can’t get either kid in it.  So I am carrying the baby, pushing an overflowing cart, and calling out for the older kids to follow me.  As the cashier rings up my item and I grab a second shopping cart to hold everything (no bags since they are 10 cents each), my kids run around the front of the store and play with the automatic doors.  It’s okay, this could be worse.  Then the baby has a melt down.  Time to go.  Over $100 later and I’m pushing two shopping carts, carrying one kid and dealing with another who is crying (he got hit by the shopping cart he was walking in front of) out to my car.  Load everything up, take the shopping cart back into the store and back home we go.  

4:30pm?  I’ve only been out for three hours?  Seems like so much longer.  I need another sweet tea!