6 Ways to Bring Sexy Back to the Bedroom

WARNING!  THIS POST TALKS ABOUT SEX AND EXCITING WAYS TO MAKE SEX MORE INTERESTING

6 Ways to Bring Sexy Back to the Bedroom

My bedroom is my favorite place.  For years I have been asking for a TV in there but my husband always says “Then you would never get out of bed.”  He is totally right!  My favorite thing to do in the bedroom is sleep.  I love sleep(maybe more than I love my kids, definitely more than I love blow drying my hair).  My husbands favorite thing to do in the bedroom is also sleep.  Okay, maybe that’s his second favorite thing to do there.  To keep us both happy in the bedroom I have a few tricks.

It’s not that I am not interested, its that with kids, we don’t always have the time or privacy required to relive our honeymoon.  However, I have discovered a 6 ways to make it sexy on a time limit.  Some of these are similar to each other but I felt they needed to be separate that way I could explain different ways to use them.  

1. Dress Up

Men love sexy costumes!  Walk into the room dressed up as a sexy maid, nurse, or police officer. There are hundreds of choices.  If you don’t want to wear a costume try wearing a wig.  It can give you long hair, short hair, blue hair, red hair, pink hair, any color you want.  Find out what he is into and surprise him!

2. Sexy Shoes

High Heels make legs shapelier, butts look firmer, hips sway more, and breasts look bigger.  Men like all of those things so of course they like high heels.  Buy some 4 inch heels and nothing else.  No costume, lingerie, candles, lotion, or whipped cream needed. (In fact, I recommend not wearing anything but the heels!)

3. Lingerie

Lingerie is sexy!  You don’t even have to wear it.  Leave it on the bed for him to see.  He will be turned on all day!  I am a big fan of lingerie that I don’t have to take off(nothing kills the mood like having to stop because you can’t get the bustier off).  Get a crotchless, open cup teddy and you don’t have to stop to take anything off.  It also keeps some things you don’t want to be seen(stretch marks from pregnancy) covered.   As someone who is plus size I often feel unattractive in lingerie.  When I don’t feel attractive there is nothing my husband can say to make me feel attractive.  So my advice for lingerie is find something you feel sexy in.

4. Dirty Talk

Tell him how bad you want him.  Tell him how horny you are.  Tell him what you want him to do to you and what you want to do to him.  Let him know how much you like what he is doing to you or what you are doing to him.  Make sure he knows you are enjoying yourself.  You can even do dirty talk while he is at work, the gym, hanging out with his friends(sexting), or just in the bedroom as a form of foreplay.  It doesn’t even have to be something that you will actually do, he just wants to hear naughty things come out of your mouth.

5. Role Play

Be his sex slave.  Set up boundaries beforehand so that it is stuff you are willing to do and just go with it.  He will love that you do everything he tells you.  Make him your sex slave.  Be his mistress.  Be his secretary.  Teacher, librarian, harem girl, you can be anything.  He can be anything.  Fulfill his fantasy and have him fulfil yours.  Costume optional.

6. Foreplay in the Shower

You have to shower anyway so why not do it together.  Not only do you save water but you can wash him and he can wash you(which is intimate and relaxing).  After you are clean fool around a little(or a lot) until you are ready to take it back to the bedroom.  This is my favorite way to shower!!!

There are many more ways to be sexy in the bedroom.  Toys, props, handcuffs, games, and lotions are all ways to have fun in the bedroom(or where ever you want).  I know from experience that those ways can be exciting but with young kids around we currently try to keep it simple, fast, and easy to cleanup.

Birthday Week

It’s that time of year again.  There will be food, presents, and singing.  Someone will snap photos and when it is all over, everyone will wish me well for the next year.  It happens every year, but it wasn’t until five years ago I learned how to make it last a whole week instead of just one day.  My birthday is on Thursday, but my birthday week in officially on.

Birthday week is a fun way to get spoiled seven days instead of just one.  It doesn’t mean you get a present everyday.  (Although I suppose it could if you wanted.)  For me, birthday week is like a get out of jail free card in my house.  Not literally.  You can’t call birthday week and get out of jail.  It’s more of a get other people (like my husband) to do things I don’t want to do, am to lazy to do, or just don’t feel like doing.  For example, if my phone is in the kitchen and I hear a ting signaling a text message, but am too lazy to walk to the kitchen to get my phone, I can call birthday week and my husband will retrieve my phone for me.  If my kids has a poopy diaper and I don’t want to change it, I call birthday week and my husband has to take care of it.  If I want an hour to myself to read or watch a movie, I can call birthday week and my husband will be on kid duty while I take some time off.  Now before you all say what a great husband I have and how he is so good to me and spoils me, remember he does this for me during my birthday week because I do it for him when it is his birthday week.

Birthday week for my kids is different.  It is more likely to consist of different activities during the week of their birthday like going to Chuck E Cheese one day for a few hours so they can play games or getting a special treat like an ice cream.  It is not a get out of jail free card for the kids!  I will not pick up their toys because it is their birthday week.  They will not be allowed to throw things in the house or not eat lunch because it is their birthday week.  I will just do something special with them all week and on their birthday will we have cake, ice cream, and a present.  

 

Make birthday week part of your birthday celebration and you too can have seven full days to be spoiled instead of just one.  You can make your own rules so that it has restrictions like I’m not cleaning out the litter box or I won’t do the dishes.  You can decide if you want to do small gifts everyday like a candy bar or sweet tea.  It can just be something special a couple of times during the week like a bouquet of flowers or a box of Sees Candy.  It can be as expensive or cheap as you want, but remember if you want a birthday week you also have to honor birthday week when it is someone else’s.  

As an adult I find birthday week is a nice way to experience the joy of my birthday since so often, if I want something I just buy it myself so it is hard to figure out what I want as a birthday present.  This way I can have my husband (and a few friends that do birthday week) do little things for me throughout the week.  Sometimes it is the things like being able to sleep in without the noise of the kids in the house or not having to make dinner that I really want.  

How do you celebrate birthday week?  

Six of my favorite ways to save money during the most expensive time of the year

December can be an expensive month.  From buying a Christmas tree and decorations to getting presents for everyone on our list. December costs a lot of money.  Add to that the three birthdays in our family, property tax, holiday parties, and our regular bills and suddenly we are way over budget.  OVer the years I have found ways to spend less money during the holidays.

Personalized Photo cards

I have been doing this for a few years now.  I use shutterfly to make a variety of folded  cards for different occasions including Mothers Day, Fathers Day, birthdays, thank you, and Christmas.  I personalize the cards with different photos and a simple message inside.  They come out really nice and and I notice that people hold on to them since they are so unique.  Shutterfly has coupon codes a few times a year for 10 free cards so I normally get the first 10 cards for free and just pay shipping.  With the coupon code I normally get them for less than $1 each which is less than I would pay at the store for a card of similar quality.  If you missed the 10 free cards, there are always coupons and sales going on. Don’t limit yourself to cards though, you can make calendars, playing cards, coffee cups, mouse pads, and more.  Check out Shutterfly here

Gift exchange

I have a family of my own to buy presents for at Christmas so it limits the amount of money I have to spend on other members of the family.  That is why last year I started doing a gift exchange.  This way I can buy one person a nice gift instead of everyone a cheap gift.  I talk to all my siblings and their significant others(if they have one) and make each person a index card with the rules, their name, and a short list of things they want.  Then all the index cards are put into a hat or bowl and everyone draws a card.  You buy a gift for the person whose name is on the card you drew from the list of things they want and give it to them at Christmas.  This idea can be used for everyone including kids and friends.

White Elephant

I go to a few holiday parties that do a white elephant gift exchange.  It is a lot of fun.  Normally I am asked to bring a gift with a $25 price limit.  I know its only $25 each but with three different ones that is $75.  Last year I went through my house and found some items that hadn’t been opened and used them for the white elephant.  There was nothing wrong with the items, I just hadn’t used them and felt that I probably wasn’t going to if I had bought them six months ago and they hadn’t even been opened yet.  One of my gifts last year was The Santa Clause 3 Movie Collection and an unopened box of Boy Scout popcorn.  This year I also made some personalized calendars to put in the extended family white elephant gift exchange.  It’s kinda a gag gift since has the birthdays of my kids already written in but the family gift exchange is really laid back.  There tend to be lots of gag gifts with gift cards attached.

Shop after holiday Clearance

After the holidays, lots of leftover merchandise from the holidays goes on sale.  This is a great time to stock up.  You can buy it while it is on clearance and store it until next year.  I used to work in retail and i can tell you, they get a lot of the same stuff every year.  Buy it on clearance for 50-90% off and put it away until next year, no one will know you didn’t pay full price.  You can also do this for gift exchange items like the annoying singing stuffed animals.  I buy gift bags this way and pay 20 cents for bag.  There is so much that doesn’t even look christmasy.  My oldest has a birthday in January.  I made his birthday theme winter and bought plates and napkins with snowflakes and snowmen.

Useful Items

I buy certain items in bulk.  Paper plates, paper towels, toilet paper, kleenex baby wipes, plastic cups, and plastic cutlery.  These sound like boring household items but will almost certainly be used by everyone.  Wrap some of them up and give as a gift.  People may look at you funny but then they have the money they would have used to purchase these items to spend on other things.  You may even get a thank you later since it will be used.  These can also be funny white elephant gifts.  You might be surprised how popular it can be.

Buy gift cards with bonuses

There are some places I go to alot.  Since I know I will be spending money there I will buy the gift cards during the holidays when there are specials going on such as get a free $5 gift card for every $25 gift card you buy.  I know it is meant to be a gift for someone and something for you but that is 20% more for me.  One year I bought $100 in Dennys gift cards and got four $5 gift cards.  Then I spent all $120 myself over the next few months.  It seems counteractive because you have to spend the money now to use it later but if you frequent the restaurant a lot that is a free meal.  Costco always have gift cards at a discount but you have to spend $85 to get two $50 cards.  It is still a savings of 15%.  I have also seen other stores have sales on gift cards so be sure to watch ads.

These are ways I save. What do you do to save?  

Did you like this post? Check out my gift ideas on Fresno Frugalista.  

How the Grey did this happen?

On Thanksgiving I was asked if I was 30.  I proudly said “I’m 32.”  I don’t mind being 32.  I don’t feel old.  My body on the other hand definitely show the signs of age my mind is denying.  Don’t get me wrong, I know I am not old, but for me 30’s are the first time I am noticing that physically, my body is aging.  It started after having kids.  Suddenly, my hands got age spots.  One day while holding my oldest he pointed to my hands and said “freckles”.  What?  Where did these come from?  I’ve never had freckles on my hands before.  Then the realization came that these were not freckles, they were age spots.  WTF?  I was barely over 30.  This shouldn’t be happening yet.  Age spots are something older people have, and I am not old.

Then I found the first grey hair.  Oh no!!  This will not do.  I dug through my hair to find and single out the one hair that had at some point become grey.  Then I plucked it from my head.  I felt the need to study this offensive stand of hair.  Maybe I was wrong about the color and it just looked that way in the light.  Nope.  It was most certainly grey.  The color was so light that it completely blended into my white counter top.  That’s okay, it was only one and I took care of it.  Over the next year more grey hairs were discovered and removed.  Even if I was pulling out some of my hair at least none of it would be grey.  Over the past week, I found two grey hairs.  On two consecutive days.  On my God, I’m getting old!  It’s okay.  I will just dye my hair.  Then I won’t have any visible grey hairs.  My problems are solved.

I look in the mirror and pat myself on the back for being so smart.

Wait.  I look closer in the mirror and see very noticeable, very light facial hair.  OMG!  I have facial hair!  I should be grateful it isn’t dark.  This can be fixed.  I’ll just make a phone call to my esthetician Michelle at Truth Skin Care and get a lip wax.  Every month for the rest of my life.  Oh God, I’m old!  I’m too young to be old.  

I just need to freshen up and get some rest.  I’ll feel better after some sleep.  I’ll take a shower and brush my teeth and go to bed.  I take off my clothes and see various stretch marks lining my skin from having kids and gaining weight.  Maybe I’ll just take a shower in the dark.  I again applaud my genius.  My skin looks much better after my shower.  It looks younger.  This makes me happy.  I smile into the mirror.  When did my teeth get yellow?  I’m not a coffee drinker.  My teeth should be pearly white.  They just need a good brushing.  Yep, that’s all.  Floss, brush, and smile into the mirror again.  Yes, much better.  Except for that really large gap there.  And why do my teeth still have a yellow color to them?  I brushed.  I had braces.  

What is going on?  Oh, that’s right, I’m now in my 30’s.  When the allnighters of my teens and twenties start to show.  When sleep seems so much more important than it has before.  When metabolism slows down and it is harder to lose weight but easier to find it.  When foods I have always eaten and never had a problem now give me heartburn and indigestion.  When eating to much sweets give me hot flashes at night.

30’s are not all bad though, it is also the time that I own my car.  It was the first car I ever bought and made payments on it for 5 years and now i own it free and clear.  I am married to a great guy and have two adorable kids.  They make me smile, laugh, scream, cry, and teach me a new patients I didn’t know I needed.  I support myself without the help of my parents and have a freedom to make my own choices but have my parents there when my choices don’t have the desired outcome.  I have a level of confidence in myself that comes from knowing who I am, what I want, and what I will put up with.  I don’t have to rely on credit cards to supplement my monthly income.  My credit score is really good.

Who cares if I don’t look 20 anymore.  I live better than I did in my 20’s and that is worth every age spot, grey hair, yellow tooth, and stretch mark I have.  Plus it will have a higher payout when my kids are grown, I am celebrating my 25th wedding anniversary with my husband, and live in a really big house.  A girl can dream, but for now, I think I’ll go get a sweet tea.   

Underachiever

Two weeks ago I bragged to my Dr that I walk 10,000 steps a day.  I am not a person who exaggerates.  In fact, I am so literal that I will make a simple statement and then spend the next five minutes clarifying the previous statement to make sure no one misunderstands what I really meant.  I have rambled on and on clarifying statements so much at  job interviews that I didn’t get the job.

So, I’m at the Dr and he asks if I exercise.  I say ‘define exercise’.  Then proceed to tell him I walk 10,000 steps a day.  He is clearly impressed so I feel the need to let him know in detail that I don’t actually walk 10,000 steps everyday.  I only do it six days a week.  I don’t walk much on Sundays since I have declared it my unofficial day off.  And furthermore, some days I just don’t get the full 10,000.  Some days I only get 9,687 steps.  But I always try to get at least 30 active minutes.  Except on Sundays.  You know, cause it’s my day off.  See what I mean about over clarifying.

Anyway, I have been feeling a little guilty since my Dr’s appointment since I wasn’t completely honest with my him.  I don’t know if it is the time change or that I spend more time writing but,  I haven’t been walking as much lately.  In fact, in the last week, I have only walked 10,000 steps two days.  Thats right, 2!  I am such a liar.  It doesn’t matter that I walked 5,403 last wednesday, or 6,220 thursday, or even walked over 8,000 steps on friday and saturday (sunday is my day off so I only walked 3,107 but sunday doesn’t matter).  I still lied to the Dr.  I should have checked my fitbit app before proudly proclaiming I walk so much since even the week I went to see the Dr I didn’t walk 10,000 steps a day, six days a week.  I only got 10,000 or above five days.  What a disappointment.  

I think I’ll go drown my sorrows with a large sweet tea.

Holiday Hell

I suffer from a see it, buy it, regret it complex.  This condition gets worse during the holidays when stores have amazing sales.  Since I am aware of my illness, I take certain measures to ensure I am not put into situations where I am exposed to products I will see, buy, and regret purchasing later.  Or at least I think about not putting myself into these situations.  So far this holiday season I have not been successful.  

So I went out on Black Friday.  I know it wasn’t the smartest idea but I needed to get out of the house where all we do is watch TV all day.  So I decided to go to Fig Garden and take advantage of the Santa Clause there that does free photos and maybe also go on a free carriage ride.  I loaded up both my kids, myself, my diaper backpack, the double stroller, and our nice camera.  Then drove the 5 minutes to Fig Garden and spent another 5 minutes finding parking.  Then I unload one kid, the double stroller, the diaper backpack, the other kids who i have to put shoes on (he takes them off in the car), my purse, and the camera.  I roll both kids in the double stroller to the large Christmas tree only to find out Santa left at 1pm.  SOB!!  I did all of that for nothing.  Whatever, I’ll just take photos of my kids in front of the Christmas tree.  I get one kid out of the stroller and put shoes and socks on the other then pull the camera out of the case and start taking photos.  Four photos in the battery dies.  WTF!!  Are you kidding me?  How is this thing never charged?  Whatever, there should be a spare in the case.  I switch out the battery while yelling at my kids to not run around.  I take a few more photos and the spare battery dies.  Fine, whatever, I will get real photos with a real photographer and a fake Santa another day.

Let’s go to lunch.  My husband has put a ban on McDonalds because I eat it everyday.  F@#$ that.  I’m taking the kids to McDonalds where they can play in the play area and I can drink all the sweet tea I want for the next hour.  Maybe longer if they are playing well.  So I load the kids, the double stroller, the diaper backpack, the camera, and myself back into the car and drive to a McDonald's with a play place.  Unload one kid, the double stroller, the other kid (who has of course taken off his shoes again), the diaper backpack, my purse, and roll all of us into McDonald's.  $18 later I have food for both kids and myself as well as a large sweet tea.  The day just got a lot better.  The kids play more than they eat but I don’t really care.  If they are hungry when we get home I can always give them some snacks.  Today there are lots of kids there which means my kids have other kids to play with and will play longer.  That is a relief since I spent more time loading and unloading than anything else at Fig Garden.  

After an hour I roll two crying kids out of McDonalds.  I have one more stop I want to make before I head back home.  Walgreens.  I used to work there and I know they have some good Black Friday deals like 50% off toys and buy one get two free candles.  Load everything back into the car.  Drive to the closest Walgreens.  Instead of getting the double stroller out I use a shopping cart.  I let the oldest walk and once again put shoes on the youngest.  I try to put him in the cart but he throws a fit.  I haven’t have enough sweet tea for this.  Walk if you want you little brat.  We start with the toys.  I scoped the selection out a few days ago and know there are some toys I want although I can’t remember any specifics anymore.  It doesn’t matter, I know I will find something to buy.  That’s why I’m here.  While I browse what is left of the toys the kids pick out toys and throw them into the shopping cart.  I go on defense and put toys that I’m not buying back.  After talking to a few employees I find other places in the store toys can be found and fill my cart with 16 construction vehicles for my oldests kids birthday party next month.  At $3.50 pre tax I think that is a nice party favor for all the kids.  My shopping cart is so full I can’t get either kid in it.  So I am carrying the baby, pushing an overflowing cart, and calling out for the older kids to follow me.  As the cashier rings up my item and I grab a second shopping cart to hold everything (no bags since they are 10 cents each), my kids run around the front of the store and play with the automatic doors.  It’s okay, this could be worse.  Then the baby has a melt down.  Time to go.  Over $100 later and I’m pushing two shopping carts, carrying one kid and dealing with another who is crying (he got hit by the shopping cart he was walking in front of) out to my car.  Load everything up, take the shopping cart back into the store and back home we go.  

4:30pm?  I’ve only been out for three hours?  Seems like so much longer.  I need another sweet tea!